{"id":145,"date":"2018-12-02T05:03:04","date_gmt":"2018-12-02T05:03:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/?p=145"},"modified":"2018-12-02T05:03:04","modified_gmt":"2018-12-02T05:03:04","slug":"12-01-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/?p=145","title":{"rendered":"12.01.2018"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/yohji_500.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-151 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/yohji_500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"558\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wednesday was stressful. After work, I went to H Mart because I impulse shop when I am upset and I bought snacks and a milk tea latte. I remember crying on the drive home. My only comfort that day was drinking the milk tea in bed. The rest of the week was better.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Rachel McKibbens&#8217; &#8220;letter from my heart to my brain&#8221; is a poem I&#8217;ve been thinking about. That poem is everything I have felt over the past two years when I was in an abusive relationship, but I didn&#8217;t know it at the time. It was easier to tell myself I deserved it. There are so many harmful thoughts about myself that I&#8217;m trying to unlearn.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>It\u2019s okay to lock yourself in the medicine cabinet, <\/em><em>to drink all the wine, to do what it takes to stay <\/em><em>without staying.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I can&#8217;t say it, but one person knows and he didn&#8217;t think I was stupid for doing what I did that night. He just told me that all this was going to take time, that I was going to be okay and I believed him. I mean, and I don&#8217;t trust anyone these days.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>My mother&#8217;s homemade hot chocolate is one of my favorite things about the holidays. She makes it the Peruvian way and the taste brings me back to my childhood. Which is just a cliche way of saying I feel joy in that moment. Nothing but joy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Show: The Sinner<br \/>\nBook: Maryse Meijer&#8217;s <em>Northwood<\/em><br \/>\nSong: A Perfect Circle &#8211; Thomas<br \/>\nFilm: When Animals Dream<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>On my morning walks on the weekends, I am alone. This is important to my sanity. I put my headphones in and notice the colors of the dead leaves beneath my feet, the sunlight on water. I wear the bomber jacket my ex returned to me, the one I spent $500 on as a gift. I don&#8217;t call it &#8220;his&#8221; anymore. It&#8217;s mine, which feels good to say. On the back there is a drawing of a skeleton man walking his dog. It keeps me so warm.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Money, I guess? I&#8217;m earning it now after a five-month lull of unemployment, and every now and then I treat myself to beautiful things. I deserve this, and I don&#8217;t have to remind myself of that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/IMG_2652_500.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-150 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/IMG_2652_500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"533\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Wednesday was stressful. After work, I went to H Mart because I impulse shop when I am upset and I bought snacks and a milk tea latte. I remember crying on the drive home. My only comfort that day was drinking the milk tea in bed. The rest of the week was better. &nbsp; <\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/?p=145#more-145\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=145"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":160,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145\/revisions\/160"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.fightfayre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}